


Missing Memories

by scully_mulder_stories



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Case Fic, Christmas, Drama, F/M, New Years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 12:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17022714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scully_mulder_stories/pseuds/scully_mulder_stories
Summary: Mulder and Scully have disappeared without a trace. Where are they and who is involved?As one of them is suddenly found, nobody knows how to solve this mystery because all memories seem to be gone ...





	1. Disappeared without a trace

"Have you found something?", Assistant Director Walter Skinner asked the Agents Monica Reyes and John Doggett as they entered his office.  
  
With tired steps Monica walked into the room, shook her head and let herself fall into one of the chairs in front of Skinner's desk. Her face showed how worried she was and also her partner looked concerned.  
  
"We haven't found anything. We have looked through all their things now for the third time, but there is nothing. Their office is completely okay, there's is not the tiniest hint about where they could be or what could have happened...", they explained.  
  
Exhausted because of the last days, Monica buried her face in her hands and let out a loud, desperate sigh.  
  
Skinner's concern was now even more evident in his face. The last sleepless nights had left traces on him, but even if he would have wanted to relax, he couldn't. He couldn't sit still for a second while he didn't know what had happened.  
  
John was walking slowly up and down, staring down at the ground while putting his thoughts into words. "But how can that be? How can it be that we don't know anything? I mean...nothing can disappear just without a trace. And certainly not humans!"  
  
He stopped walking around and looked at Skinner, just as he would expect an answer from him but Skinner of course couldn't find an answer. How should he? He was as clueless as the two agents in front of him.  
  
Monica looked up. "We need to start from the beginning again. Maybe we have missed something...we need to find them..."  
  
She wanted to stand up but felt a bit dizzy and John stepped forward, ready to catch her in case she might fall.  
  
"No Monica, you need to eat and rest first. I don't want you to collapse."  
  
"I don't care about myself now, John! Scully and Mulder need us, I'm fine so far!"  
  
"But you can't help them when you're at the end of your powers", he tried to convince her.  
  
Skinner agreed. "We all haven't slept the last three nights. Go home and try to rest a bit. Don't forget, we have a complete team searching for the two, alright? We are not alone."  
  
Monica nodded slowly, agreeing on taking a break even if she didn't want to go home. She wanted to continue the search until they would find them. Until they would find Scully and Mulder.

"Let me bring you home now, okay?", John said and placed his hand on Monica's back. He shared a last look with Skinner and then he went with her out of the office.  
  
Without talking they walked towards the elevator and waited, Monica leaned against the wall and closed her eyes for a moment.  
  
John was still standing next to her, not saying a word but still being worried about her. "Are you alright?", he asked carefully, knowing how stupid his question must sound.  
  
"I'm okay. I just feel...helpless. I can't stop thinking about them."  
  
"I know", he said, stroking over her shoulder. He could understand her, he probably worried about Scully and Mulder as much as she did.  
  
"I mean, a few days ago we have talked to them. Everything was okay. And now...they're gone...and nobody knows where they are. Nobody can find them", Monica started and tried to control her emotions with taking a deep breath. Just in this moment the door to the elevator opened and they stepped in.  
  
After pressing the button, John turned around to Monica. "Listen, we will definitely find them both. They have to be somewhere, and we will find them. I promise."  
  
He took Monica's hand and pressed it tightly, trying to comfort her. Without saying anything they left the elevator a few seconds later and made their way to the cars.  
  
While John was driving Monica home, they still didn't speak much. They both were in their own thoughts, even though they thought about exactly the same.  
  
They were worried about their friends Scully and Mulder. Where could they be? Were they alright? Or were they hurt? Were they alive? Or were they maybe...dead?  
  
Monica sighed and stared above to the sky outside the car. She tried to ignore the chills she got while thinking about what could have happened, the worst scenarios were crossing her mind. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to calm down, and as she looked through the window up to the sky, she saw grey clouds were coming. It would probably rain in the next hours. Maybe the heaven wanted to cry out all the pain and sorrows Monica felt inside herself, she thought.  
  
"Thank you for bringing me back home", she finally said a few minutes later to John as he stopped in her street.  
  
"Any time. Try to relax a bit, and please don't forget to eat something", he replied and after Monica said bye, he took some moments for himself until he drove home as well.  
  
As Monica entered her apartment and turned on the light, she stayed standing in the middle of the room and looked around while remembering how Scully had visited her last week, how they were sitting together, talking and laughing. But now she was gone, disappeared without a trace.  
  
With a sigh she went to the kitchen and tried to find something to eat as the thunderstorm outside suddenly started. Caught in her thoughts she went to the window to watch the lightnings and listen to the quiet thunder. Just as she looked down at the street, she saw someone walking there. Someone she wouldn't have expected to see in this moment, so she took her keys and ran outside as fast as she could.


	2. Not a single memory

Monica was running down the stairs and arrived at the street, trying to catch her breath. It was raining now as much as if the clouds would have opened the door to hell and let out all the feelings Monica had carried inside of herself the last days.

Lightnings and thunders were filling the air but she didn't care about that. After a few seconds of running down the street she was completely wet, but that didn't matter at all. Her full attention was only given to the person walking down the street in front of her.

Monica started running faster and tried to shout out her name but the force of the weather drowned her voice. After some seconds she finally arrived next to her.

"Scully!!"

She grabbed her by the shoulder and made her turn around but what she saw made her gasp for air.  
  
Scully's eyes were looking extremely tired and glassy and her nose must have bleeded some time before, there was dry blood above her lips. Her left cheek was signed by a big scratch which was still bleeding a little.

"Dana, what happened?", Monica asked shocked and tried to get eye contact with her, but Scully didn't react at all.

"Okay, come with me. Come...", she said as gently as she could right now, still holding Scully at her shoulders and guiding her across the street to her apartment.  
  
After she closed the door behind them, she got some dry clothes for Scully but her friend still didn't show any reaction. She was just standing there - saying nothing, doing nothing - staring at the ground.  
  
Monica couldn't understand why she behaved like that and reached for her phone without taking her eyes from Scully. After some seconds, she heard the voice she was waiting for.

_"Monica?"_

"John...I found Scully. I don't know what happened but you should better come here! I'll call Skinner as well."

 _"I'll call him and we will be right there"_ , he answered.

Monica put the phone away and went with Scully to the bathroom. She helped her changing her wet clothes and drying her hair with a towel. Scully still just stared in the air and showed no single reaction.

"Dana? Can you hear me?", Monica asked and put the towel away. Carefully she took Scully's face between her hands, forcing her to look into her eyes.  
  
Now Scully's facial expression changed a bit. She opened her mouth but Monica couldn't understand her. Scully tried again to say something. This time her voice  
was a bit louder but Monica couldn't believe what she just heard. She was shocked and swallowed hard as Scully asked for a second time.

"Who are you?"

"Scully? I-It's me, Monica." She was shocked, she couldn't believe it, she didn't want to believe it.

Scully's eyes filled with tears, looking into Monica's face just as she would try to find something familiar in her eyes.

"I don't know you...Who...? Who am I?", Scully asked whispering. Her breath got faster while the desperation was coming over her. Helplessly, she drove her fingers through her hair, holding her head as if it would somehow to help to remember anything.  
  
Although Monica was scared as well, she tried to calm her friend down. "Listen, let us sit down at the sofa, okay? In a few minutes...some friends will come over. We all want to help you, alright? You can trust us, I promise."

Scully nodded slowly and Monica could see in her face that she was still scared and skeptical, but at least she was willing to listen.  
  
After she made her something warm to drink, they waited for Doggett and Skinner. Everything they did was listening to the thunderstorm outside. Monica tried to speak with Scully but she was still worried and scared, silent tears were streaming down her cheeks while she still tried to find any memory. She really seemed to don't know or remember anything.  
  
Then someone knocked at the door. Monica jumped up to open it and looked into Doggett's and Skinner's faces.

"You better think twice before asking her something. She can't remember anything. Not even herself", she said quietly as she let the two in.

"No memories at all?"

They couldn't believe it and looked to Scully, who stared at the two men. Monica nodded and the Agents went to Scully.  
Carefully Skinner sat down next to her, keeping some distance.

"Scully?"

"What happened to me?", she just answered with tears in her eyes.

"That's what we want to find out...I'm Skinner, and this is Agent Doggett. Can you remember us?"

"Agent? Why Agent?"

"We are FBI-Agents, so are you", he said slowly.  
  
Scully swallowed. "I-I'm a FBI-Agent?"

"Scully, do you remember anything what happened the last days?"

"I don't even remember who I am!! How should I remember what happened to me!? I don't even know if I should trust you!" She burst into tears but kept holding the eyecontact with Skinner.

"I'd say we better bring her to a hospital", said John quietly to Skinner and Scully looked now at him as well. Then her eyes wandered to Monica again, as if she would want to know what she thinks about it.

"We definitely should, it's only for your best", she said to Scully who needed a few seconds but finally nodded and stood up slowly.


	3. It sounds familiar

"I can't find an explanation for her amnesia. The CT-Scan doesn't show any abnormalities, everything seems to be alright."

Monica, John, Skinner and Scully had driven to the hospital and after they explained their situation, the doctor was immediately there for them.  
  
Skinner was sitting now together with the doctor, discussing the reasons of why Scully lost her memories.

"The cause could be a severe hit on her head. In the most cases the memories are coming back after a while, so if you take care of her, then I suppose that in a short time she'll get better", he continued.  
  
Skinner nodded. "So can we take her back home?"

"Yes, she doesn't have other injuries and everything else is alright as well. The few scratches and bruises aren't a reason for keeping her here and I think it would be better if she recovers at home, a familiar place should be the best for her", the doctor replied while looking through Scully's file. "Just take care of her."

"Yeah, of course."

Skinner stood up and went out to Monica and Doggett who were waiting together with Scully.  
  
On the way back to the car, Skinner was walking together with Doggett behind Monica and Scully and explained him what the doctor had said.

John nodded. "I hope we'll find out soon what happened to her and Mulder. We still don't know where he-"

"Did you say Mulder?", Scully suddenly turned around.  
  
The other three agents shared a look before Monica talked to her. "Do you remember something?"

"I-I don't know. This name just sounds familiar to me", Scully explained.

"He is your partner at the FBI. You're working with him since years."

Scully stared to the ground, repeating his name again and again but after a while she shook her head. "I can't remember the face behind this name...Mulder."

"It's okay", Skinner said, "your memories will come back soon. Let's bring you home." He hoped he was saying the truth even though he didn't know it for sure.  
  
During the way back home they decided, that Monica should stay with her. It was already late afternoon and Doggett and Skinner wanted to go back to the FBI to inform their team that they have to keep looking only for Mulder now.

A short while later, Monica and Scully had finally arrived at Scully's apartment.

"Do you need anything else?", Monica asked.

"It's weird...I-I know my apartment, but I don't know you or Skinner or...", she stopped.  
  
Trying to comfort her friend, Monica took her hand. "I'm sure it will be better with the time. You just need to rest like the doctor said."

But Scully didn't listen to her. She didn't even look at Monica but stared at something next to the door. It was a photo, standing on the cupboard.

"Mulder", Scully whispered and went to the photo to take it in her hands.  
  
Monica stood next to her, not sure what to do while Scully stared down at the photo. It showed her and Mulder and was taken at the last New Year's Eve, both of them were smiling bright in the camera.

"Scully? Is everythi-"

"That's Mulder", she replied quietly.

"Yes, so you can remember?" Monica was relieved that she at least knew again who Mulder was, and she was even more curious if they would finally find out what happened. Maybe she could remember more.  
  
Carefully Scully touched Mulder's face on the photo and then Monica saw a tear dropping down.

"Scully? What's wrong?"

"I'm pretty sure that we won't find Mulder...", she answered with trembling voice, still holding the photo.  
  
Worried, Monica waited till Scully would continue speaking, but she didn't.

"Dana? What can you remember?", she asked carefully.

Scully kept staring at the photo and Monica could barely understand her as she started to explain.

"I don't know where we have been...I don't even know why we have been there or...who took us there but...I'm certain that Mulder is dead."


	4. Blurry memories

"What? Dana...what do you mean?" Monica was shocked by her friends words and couldn't believe it.  
  
Was she aware of what she just said?  
Could this be true?  
  
Carefully Scully put the photo back on the cupboard and went to the window. Caught in her own thoughts, in her own memories, she looked outside and touched her neck. She suddenly realized that she wasn't wearing her golden necklace anymore and was wondering when she had lost it.  
  
"I can't remember anything in concret...I can remember a bright light all around me...around _us_. I couldn't really see something but...", she stopped and took some deep breaths.  
  
Monica didn't dare to say anything, she just listened attentively to what Scully remembered and couldn't prevent this feeling of a cold shiver all over her body.  
  
It took some seconds till Scully spoke again: "I remember that I was laying on a very cold table and Mulder on a table next to mine. There were some people, but...I can't remember their faces or voices. I can't even remember exactly what they did with us."  
  
Her voice broke again and she stared at a couple, walking hand in hand down the street. For some reason she felt a sharp pain in her heart and swallowed hard as some more memories came up.  
  
"I wasn't tied at the table but I couldn't move my body. I could only move my head...I looked to Mulder...he was also looking at me but then...then it was like he panicked and his whole body was shaking before he suddenly remained motionless. His eyes were closed and...and the people carried him away." She sobbed and her voice was only a whisper full of pain.

"I couldn't even speak, I only watched what happened to him. And the next thing I can remember is how you talked to me in your apartment..."  
  
Scully burst out in tears and leaned her head against the window.  
  
"I can't remember all the years we shared. I only know that the man on the photo is Mulder and that he was somehow important to me, but I don't have any memories with him...or memories with you or the others. It feels like I never really lived. There's nothing in my brain, I feel completely empty and lost."

* * *

The next day, Scully wanted to visit her workplace. She was hoping to find out something, to wake some more memories up and to find out more about herself.

Monica didn't leave her alone, so the two of them entered the FBI building and made their way to the office in the basement.

As they opened the door, Scully hold her breath and walked slowly inside. She knew this room, it was familiar to her. Slowly Scully looked at the desk, the wall full of notes and photos and finally her eyes stopped at the poster.

"I want to believe", she read out with quiet voice and couldn't prevent a little laugh.

Monica witnessed it. "Dana? Do you remember something?"

"I think yes. I remember sitting here with Mulder, working and talking to him. I can remember how he always believed in so many irrational theories and how I always stood against it. I guess we've been strange partners", she said while walking through the room and looking at everything.  
  
With a slight smile, Monica agreed. "Well, it wasn't always easy for you to work with him, but you liked it anyway. And you really liked _him_."

Scully looked down.  
A feeling spread inside of her, she couldn't really describe it, and she suddenly knew that Monica was right. Mulder definitely was very important for her. In many ways.  
  
They decided to leave the office and have a talk with Skinner again. Standing in the elevator, Monica's phone suddenly rang.

"Reyes....yes...of course...I'll be right there", she put the phone away and turned to Scully.

"I need to go to Doggett first because of some paper stuff from a case we worked on last week. You can already go to Skinner, it's the fourth floor and then down the corridor, alright?"

Scully nodded and Monica left the elevator as it stopped. "See you in a few minutes", she said smiling and hurried away.

Just before the doors closed again, a man entered the lift and stood next to Scully.

"Hello, Agent Scully", he said.

Scully didn't know him, she didn't know anyone here at the FBI but suddenly she felt very cold and she also smelled a scent, a scent of cigarettes and she knew where she had smelled it before.

"I hope you're alright, Agent Scully", the old man continued with a smile. A smile which wasn't supposed to be true, honest or warm but cold and frightening.


	5. "I can remember!"

He looked into her eyes and Scully tried to look away but for some reasons she couldn't...and suddenly she remembered...she rememberd so much more than she had expected.  
  
Feeling her heart beat faster she also finally found her voice.

"You!", she said quietly.

"Well, it's good to see you at work again, Agent Scully. I really hope that your partner Mulder will be found soon and that the mystery about what has happened will be solved as well", he answered calmly and almost friendly.

But he wasn't friendly and Scully knew that.  
  
She stepped back and wished that she wouldn't stand alone with him in the elevator.  
Now the man's eyes seemed to be worried, but Scully knew that he wasn't worried about her at all.

"Agent Scully, don't you feel well? You look a bit pale."

"Don't!", she said as he stepped towards her and he stopped while a slight smile appeared on his face.  
  
Scully swallowed hard and hoped that the doors would open soon. "Don't pretend that you don't know what happened!!", she said and felt tears of anger in her eyes.

"I swear, if Mulder won't be found alive, then it will be me who guides you the way down to hell!", she yelled at him and as the door opened she hurried out without saying another word.  
  
She knew the way to Skinner's office, she knew the people she walked past on the floor and she also knew what happened before she and Mulder had been reported as missing. It was like seeing the face of this man brought back all her memories.  
  
She didn't knock at Skinner's door and entered without slowing down.

"Sir, I need to tell you something!", she said before he even opened his mouth.

"Alright have a seat. Did you come alone?"

"Monica will be here soon, she's with Doggett at the moment....but there's is something I need to tell you. I can remember! I can remember who you and Monica and John are, who I am and who Mulder is", she explained out of breath.  
  
Skinner's face took the expression of surprise. "Are you sure? I-I mean how?"

"I just met someone in the elevator...the smoking man. As he looked into my eyes, as I smelled this nasty scent of cigarettes, I could suddenly remember. And I remember that he was one of the men who kidnapped me and Mulder!"

"One of the men?", Skinner asked.

One part of him was relieved that Scully could finally remember, but the other part of him was scared of what this would reveal.

"Yeah, I-I remember that Mulder wanted to drive me back home after work and we were standing by the car and...then some men appeared and attacked us and...a few minutes ago when I met the smoking man in the elevator, I just remembered that he was one of them."  
Scully stared at him while explaining and hoped he wouldnt think she was going nuts.  
  
Skinner swallowed and nodded. He was angry about the smoking man, who never wanted to leave them alone. What did he want from Scully and Mulder? What did he do to them?

"Could it have something to do with the last case you worked on before you've been kidnapped?", he wanted to know.  
  
Scully shook her head. "No, the last case was actually just a waste of time about some teens who said they saw an ufo - after smoking way too much weed, so it was nothing. I really don't know why this happened to us."

Suddenly the door opened and Monica and Doggett entered the room. Both looked concerned and as they saw Scully and Skinner's faces, they wondered what happened. Scully explained again and Monica and John listened attentively.

"And that's all you can remember?", asked John.

Scully nodded, even if that wasn't true. But there were some things which should stay only between her and Mulder. She hoped that these things won't be only memories, she hoped that she will share moments like the ones in her memories with him again...  
She hoped, Mulder would be found alive.  
  
Scully saw that Monica shared a look with Doggett.

"What is it? Is there something you need to tell?" She knew that something was wrong, she wanted to know what it was.

"Monica, please! What happened?", she wanted to know.  
  
Monica swallowed. "When I just went to John to help him with the paper stuff from the last case...one of the agents from the team entered the office and...", she stopped.

"And what?" Scully's voice sounded more and more desperately.

"And...and he said that a body was found. A body with...Mulder's ID in the pocket of his jacket and...they say it's definitely him."


	6. Closed eyes

Silence.

Monica and Doggett both looked at Scully who looked out of the window, shaking her head.

"No. No, this isn't true. He's not...", her voice broke and she turned around to the others.

"I want to see him!"

"Scully, do you really think this is a good i-"

"I want to see him!", she said and her eyes filled with tears.  
  
Now Skinner walked around the desk and put a hand on Scully's shoulder. "Okay listen, I guess they will bring him to the morgue now, right?", he asked Monica and John.

They nodded. "They're on the way. They'll be there in about 20 minutes", John answered, trying to hide the tremble in his voice.

"Okay...I'll go there and wait till they arrive", Scully answered and wiped her hand over her cheeks, hiding her tears.  
  
Without another word she left the office and the others knew that they wouldn't be able to stop her. Nevertheless Monica followed her, she knew that her friend needed someone now.  
  
Scully was walking down the stairs, she didn't want to take the elevator again, and heard that someone followed her.

"Dana, please wait!"

She turned around and saw Monica. "I want to see him!"

"I know, I know. I just don't want you to be alone", Monica said and took her hand.

Together they walked downstairs to the car, a short while later they arrived at the morgue.  
Now they had to wait.  
  
A few minutes later, the door opened and two people entered. They were pushing a stretcher, on it lay a black body bag.

"Agent Scully-", said one of the men, but Scully interrupted him.

"Could you please go?", she said without taking her eyes off the bag. The men looked at Monica who nodded and then they went out.  
  
Scully walked to the bag, and grabbed the zipper. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and opened it.

Slowly she opened her eyes and...  
...and she felt how her heart stopped.  
  
Almost peacefully he lay there, his eyes closed, his face looking as he would sleep.  
But he wasn't sleeping. He wouldn't wake up. He would sleep forever.

"No...", Scully whispered, placing her hand on his cold cheek. "Please, wake up...don't...don't leave me alone."

She stroked over his hair, her tears were dropping on his face.

"Mulder, please..."

"Dana..." Monica put her hand on Scully's back, stroking it softly while suppressing her own tears. She didn't want to cry now, she wanted to be strong for Scully.  
  
Monica felt how Scully's body started shaking. Not able to control her emotions anymore, Scully burst into tears and cried out loud. Feeling Monica's hand on her shoulder, she turned around. The eyes full of tears met the eyes who pretended to be strong and Monica pulled Scully into a hug. She didn't resist.

"I'm here...it's okay...", Monica tried to comfort her, even if her heart was full of pain too.

She still stroked over Scully's back, she sobbed and Monica wasn't sure if Scully could ever stop crying.  
  
Holding Scully in her arms, she looked over her shoulder and saw Mulder laying there. Knowing that he would never open his eyes again, knowing that he would never get up and talk again...knowing all this made her tears finally falling down her cheeks.

She didn't even noticed them till Scully broke away and wiped her own tears away.

"I-I'm going to do the autopsy."

"What? Dana no!"

"I'm going to do it! I have to find out how he died, I need the truth!", she said determinate.  
  
Now Monica was even more worried.  
"Another coroner can do that! You're not in the mental state for...for that. You need to rest, Dana!"

But Scully just shook her head.  
"No! I have to do this, I...it's my task. That's what I need to do now."

"Dana, please..."

"Monica, you don't understand that!", Scully said, crying again.

But Monica understood her in some way, she just didn't want to see her friend like that. She didn't want all the pain around them.

"Okay but -  if you don't mind I stay...", she started and Scully nodded.  
  
Trying to control her breath, she prepared herself. Then she stood next to the body bag again and looked into Mulder's fine face. Into his beautiful face, the closed eyes which would never look at her again the way they always did.

Scully opened the bag a bit more. He wore the same clothes as on the last day they've seen each other, as he lay on this table next to hers, as they brought his motionless body away.

She just stared at him and then she saw something she couldn't believe.

With tears in her eyes she looked down at her own necklace, which was looking out of Mulder's shirt. Why did he wear it?

With shaking hands she wanted to remove it from his neck as she saw something else.

"What-?" Scully stepped closer to take a look at his neck. At the spot between his clavicles was something which looked like a little scar.  
  
Monica noticed that Scully saw something and walked next to her.

"Did you find something?", she asked carefully and Scully nodded slowly, still trying to calm down.

"I think yes. Do you see this here? Mulder didn't have this scar before all this happened."

Monica didn't ask how Scully could know that, but watched her friend examine the little scar. It felt strange, as if something was underneath the skin.  
  
Suppressing her sobs, Scully walked around the table to take a scalpel, then she looked at Mulder as if she wanted to apologize, before she cutted into the little scar.

Monica didn't have even time for wondering why she did that, as she saw that Scully removed something out of the little wound. It was very small, but it looked like something like a chip.

She watched her preparing the little object under the microscope and looking at it "Damn, what the -", Scully whispered.  
  
With a little movement of her head, Scully signified Monica to take a look at it as well. Both were looking at a little round chip.

"I'm sorry for asking, but didn't you have a similar chip under the skin of your neck years ago?", Monica said.

"Yes, and I don't understand that. At the first look it seems to be exactly the same chip as I had, but why is it between his clavicles? And why him?", Scully asked and turned around to Mulder again, wondering why he had this chip.  
  
Holding her breath, she touched her skin to check if she had this chip too, but she didn't have it.

Scully kept staring at Mulder's body and tried to figure out what all this could mean.

"We better bring this chip to the lab and maybe-", she started but suddenly stopped, still looking at Mulder.

"Monica, did you see that?"

"No, what?" Monica wanted to know and looked at Mulder now too.  
  
Slowly Scully walked forward, without taking her eyes of his chest. "Monica...he's breathing!"


	7. Everything will be fine, right?

"Breathing? But that's not possible, Dana. They found him dead, he had no pulse..."

"But look!", Scully replied and pointed on his chest, which moved slowly up and down to the rhythm of his breathing.  
  
She couldn't believe what she saw and placed her hand on his cheek, stroking softly with her thumb over his skin.

"Mulder? Can you...can you hear me?", she whispered, desperately hoping that he would open his eyes. But he didn't.

He just lay there, breathing slowly in and out.  
But he had been dead! How was that possible? Was it even real? Did all this really happen?

She didn't know, but she hoped that seeing him breathing wasn't just an illusion. It had to be real, she wouldn't make it without him.  
  
Scully was torn out of her thoughts as Monica suddenly touched her arm.

"...Dana?...Do you listen to me?"

"Huh, what?"

"I called 911. Mulder needs to get in a hospital as soon as possible!"

It was as Scully just woke up and heard Monica's voice from far away.

"Dana, are you okay?"

"I-I don't know. It's just...", she sobbed.

"I know. Everything will be fine!"

A few minutes later Mulder was laying in the ambulance with Scully sitting next to him. He still didn't show any reaction and everything Scully could do was hoping and praying.  
  
Later in the hospital she sat together with Monica in the corridor, waiting for a doctor to come and tell them about Mulder's condition. Monica has called Skinner and John, who just arrived at the same moment as the doctor walked towards the waiting women.

"And?", Scully wanted to know.

"We did anything possible, but he doesn't show any reaction and doesn't wake up. He seemed to be completely alright, so there's actually no reason for..."

"What does that mean now?", Skinner asked worried.  
  
The doctor looked at every single one of the persons standing in front of him, before he spoke to Scully.

"We suddenly had some problems to keep his condition stable and...we had to put him into coma now. We're not sure if there's anything we can do to help him, everything we can do now is waiting for him to wake up. I'm sorry", he said, and his eyes revealed that he really meant what he said.  
  
Scully nodded. "Can I...Can we see him?"  
The doctor agreed, guided them to Mulder's room and left them alone then.

* * *

 A few hours later:

After this long and terrifying day and the hours next to Mulder in the hospital, Scully wanted to go home. She didn't want anything else than falling into her bed and sleep, and when she'd wake up she wanted everything to be normal. Normal like the days before they were missed. Normal like the days she spent with Mulder, working on cases, feeling comfortable and understood - at least sometimes.

"Dana? Come one, let's go home", Monica said and waited for Scully to follow her out of the room.  
  
With a last sigh she got up from the chair, gave Mulder a kiss on the forehead and went with Monica, hoping to find out soon what happened.

About half an hour later she finally was home, it was already evening and she was so exhausted that she fell on her bed and drifted immediately into sleep.  
  
At the same time:

The door to Mulder's room in the hospital opened and a man walked inside, carefully not to make any noises. Slowly he walked to the bed and looked down to Mulder. The man looked pleased with what he saw and took something out of his pocket. It was a syringe.  
He grabbed Mulder's arm and injected him a clear liquid. His lips performed a last slight smile before he went out of the room again and disappeared...  
  
Scully slept restlessly. It was just past 3 in the morning but her thoughts circled around Mulder, about what happened at the last day before they were kidnapped.

They had just closed the files of the stupid case of a few weed-smoking teens and grabbed their jackets to go home, as Scully had seen something falling out of Mulder's jacket.

She had knelt down to took the small box in which was definitely some jewelry. She remembered how she gave it back to him, thinking about for which woman it might be and asking him about it. He had answered that he carries that little box with him since a few months and that it is actually a Christmas present for somebody importan in his life.  
Christmas present...and it was just November that day...  
  
The sound of her ringing phone woke her up and she answered it with tired voice.

"Yeah?"

_"Dana? It's me, Monica. I'll pick you up in a few minutes, the hospital called us. Mulder is awake."_


	8. Somewhere out there was the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said once that I'm gonna post a chapter every day, but life's too stressing. I'll post whenever I can!

As the four agents arrived a short time later in the hosptial, a nurse and a doctor were already expecting them.  
  
"How is he?", Scully wanted to know out of breath.  
  
"Nurse Kamala saw it-", the doctor started but the nurse interrupted him.  
  
"Yes! I was walking through all the rooms to check if everything is alright you know, just the night routine. But then I saw how he slowly woke up! We immediately released him from the machines and all he does since then is repeating a name...Scully."  
  
The last of nurse Kam's words were adressed only to Scully, who desperately wanted to see Mulder now.  
  
All together they went to Mulder's room again, he was sitting in his bed, staring down at the blanket.  
  
"Mulder!" Scully was so relieved to see him awake and breathing and walked to him, taking him into her arms.  
  
Tears of joy were streaming down her cheeks. She sat down at the bed and took a closer look at him but he still stared at the blanket, mumbling "Scully" again and again.  
  
"Mulder, I'm here. It's me, Scully!", she said quietly, carefully taking his face between her hands.  
  
"Huh?" His facial impression revealed confusion.

"I'm sorry, who are you?", he asked, almost whispering.  
  
Desperately Scully closed her eyes. He didn't remember. Not even her. He was in the same condition just as she had been.  
  
Mulder kept staring at the blanket and Scully went to the others who were standing by the door.  
  
"Maybe it get's better with the time. I mean you can remember everything again, so maybe he needs just some time and will remember as well", John said worried.  
  
First Scully nodded, but then she shook her head. "No I'm not sure. I mean, why did he even wake up? All of a sudden? First he started breathing as I removed this chip, then he fell into coma and suddenly he woke up again. It doesn't make sense at all!"  
  
"The chip!", Monica whispered.  
  
They completely forgot about the chip as they had called the ambulance. Not even John and Skinner knew about it yet.  
  
"I need to go back to work as soon as possible. I have to find out more about that chip", Scully said and turned around to Mulder again.  
  
She didn't want to go but she had to. Somebody had to find out what was going on.

"Give me a second", Scully said before she wanted to go out with the others.

She walked towards Mulder again, who still mumbled her name.

"Mulder? Why are you repeating my name?", she asked gently, trying to hide the worries in her voice.  
  
Confused about hearing somebody talking to him, Mulder looked up to her. Scully was shocked about this cold and distant eyes. Something was going on with him and her gut feeling told her that she needs to find it out as soon as possible.

"Mulder, I am Scully. Don't you remember me?"

"Scully?" He lifted his hand as if he wanted to touch her, but stopped then and kept staring in the air.  
  
The doctor who was still standing with nurse Kam and the agents at the door, cleared his throat. "I'd say he needs to rest. Maybe he will be able to answer your questions when he got some sleep."

Scully agreed, even if it hurted her to leave him alone in the hospital. "Alright, I'll come later again."

With a last look at Mulder, they left the hospital.  
  
Not caring about the time, they drove back to work. Scully wanted to take a closer look at the chip and she didn't want to wait. Monica told Skinner and John about what Scully had found and while they all were sitting in Monica's car, Scully took her phone to call someone. She knew that she'd need some help.

_"What the actual fu...who's calling me in the middle of the night?"_

"I'm sorry, Frohike. Here's Scully, I need the three of you!"

_"Scully? You're back!? Why did nobody tell us?"_

"Frohike, please listen! I need your help. I will explain everything later."

After a few minutes later also Byers and Langley were informed and they also agreed on meeting within the next hour.  
  
Scully was relieved that all were working together to solve this whole case. Somewhere out there was the truth about what happened, and she didn't want anything more than finding it.


	9. It's a plan

"Did you do it?", the man with a cigarette was asking a younger one.  
  
"Yes. One syringe, just like you said it."  
  
"Good, now we can be sure that he won't remember anything. The serum you injected Mulder completed the process of the chip which he is still carrying in his chest. Now the implant has saved everything and Mulder won't be able to remember anything. He will be part of the next step", the smoker exhaled pleasurable and looked pleased.  
  
The young man was skeptic: "But what is with _her_?"  
  
"Agent Scully? Well, as she ran away from us we couldn't finish the whole procedure. In contrast to Mulder, she only got the first injection but not the chip, so unfortunately her memories are going to come back with the time. But that's a problem we can easily solve", the old smoking man continued and gave him a gun.  
  
"Solve it, Krycek!", he ordered.  
  
"First I want to know some more details. What is this all about?", Krycek wanted to know.  
  
"You know enough. I told you about the first injection, the chip and the necessary second injection. It works only when all three steps are done, like we just finished it with Mulder."  
  
Now Krycek took the gun without even looking at it or showing an emotion. "And you're sure that they haven't already found the chip?", he asked.  
  
"How should they? Trust me, they haven't found it yet. It's still in Mulder's body", he smoking man answered ...  
  
The same time:  
  
"I'm very glad that we found the chip but...Langley could you please tell us something about it now?"  
  
"Well, that's interesting.." Langley was looking through the microscope at the chip while Frohike, Byers and Scully were standing around him. A few minutes ago, Scully had told them what happened - her kidnapping, her amnesia, her memories, Mulder.  
  
Monica, Doggett and Skinner were standing a bit aside but waited as impatiently as the others to find out more about the chip.  
  
"What's interesting?", Doggett now wanted to know, because Langley didn't continue.  
  
He still needed some seconds till he leaned back and sighed. "Well..this chip is destroyed", said Langley and started examine it with thin instruments.  
  
"What? But I was very careful as I removed it!", Scully answered confused.

"Well, it's way too small to recreate it. Maybe it had a self-destroying process as you removed it, but I can't tell for sure", Langley continued while looking apologizing up to Scully.  
  
Byers suddenly got an idea. "You said, that the men attacked by the car. Have you already checked the cameras?"  
  
"Yeah of course we did, but all of them were turned off at that time", Monica replied.  
  
Scully didn't really listen. Her thoughts were still busy with the destroyed chip. She knew that she had been very careful while removing it from Mulder's body.  
Suddenly she had to close her eyes as a high wave of memories came over her. She remembered that Mulder had got an injection and went unconciuos. She had got an injection as well and as she woke up she had seen how Mulder's body was shaking and how they carried him away after he lay motionless on a table next to hers.  
There had been a lot of people. But there was this one young man, he wanted to help her. The man came after all the others went and helped Scully to get up, he also promised that he would help Mulder and told Scully to run for her life. And Scully did. The man had shouted something else after her but she couldn't remember his words. And later then she had met Monica.  
  
Frohike noticed that Scully wasn't okay. "Scully? What's up?"  
  
"I-I just remembered some things. I...we....Mulder and I got injections, but I don't know why...", she told the others what she could remember while swallowing down the fear.  
  
After they checked Scully's skin again for chip, they wondered what all this might mean. All what they knew now was that Scully and Mulder got injections. They put an implant into Mulder's body but not into Scully's. Both weren't able to remember anything-Mulder still doesn't.  
  
"What if these injections took their memories away?", Monica suggested.  
  
Skinner frowned. "But why is this chip in Mulder's chest?"  
  
"Maybe...", Langley started, "...maybe it's a part of a plan...the injection was supposed to took all the memories away and the chip had the function to save them. That would explain why you can remember, Scully. You don't have a chip, so your memories are coming back. I don't know for which purpose somebody would want to take your memories and save them tho", he said thinking.

Scully nodded. Langley's explanation sounded somehow logical.

"But the chip is broken, does that mean Mulder will remember again? So that the chip maybe didn't fulfill its function?", she asked.

They couldn't find an answer to this. They didn't know enough about it, so all they could do was hoping Mulder's memories will come back.


	10. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this story in December last year, so understand the Christmas references please:)

While Scully and the others were discussing the possibilities, Mulder was laying in his bed at the hospital, feeling strange. The people who were there a few hours ago...Who were they? And who was that red-haired woman?

Somehow he knew these people but...  
He didn't have more time to think about it as the door opened again.

"Hi."

There she was, the red-haired woman again, smiling at him, trying to figure out if he was listening to her.

"Hello", he just said quietly.

Unsure about how to continue, she stood next to his bed. "So, uhm...it's 9 in the morning and I thought this would be a better time for a visit."

There was something in her eyes, it was familiar to Mulder, but he couldn't describe what it was, so he just nodded.

"So, why am I here?", he asked.

"That's what I'm trying to find out. Can you remember something?"

He shook his head. "For some reason it feels like I should remember..I also feel like I should know you, but I'm sorry", he answered, feeling weird about not knowing her. Or himself.  
  
Now he saw her tearing up. She avoided his eyes, looked down and tried to hide it but he has already seen it.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't want to-"

"Mulder, it's me. It's me, Scully!", she whispered, taking his hand. Desperately she looked into his eyes, trying to find something inside of them. Trying to make him remember.

"Scully...", he repeated her name.  
  
She nodded, suppressing a sob. "Mulder, we're partners at work. We had been kidnapped and people gave us injections and...they also implanted you a chip", she started telling him every little detail she remembered about their abduction.

While she was talking, she saw how his facial expression changed. Did he remember? Could it be? She stayed sitting next to him a while but decided then to let him rest, maybe he needed more time, so she got up and went to the door.  
  
Just as she touched the handle, she heard Mulder's voice. "Scully..."

She turned around.

"I got you something for Christmas", he said and sat up with a smile on his face.

"Mulder? You...you can remember?" Scully was afraid of hoping too much, so she didn't know what to feel.

Slowly she walked back to his bed and took his hand which he stretched out for her.

"Yes, I remember. I don't remember much of the injections or an implant, but I...I can remember that we were attacked. I can remember you, Scully. I can remember the others and also myself", he answered relieved, not taking his eyes of her.

His fast breathing revealed that he was still dealing with his memories, but he was also happy to have them back.

Scully's eyes filled with tears again, this time because of joy. She finally had her Mulder back but...did he really remember everything again?

"So, you bought a Christmas gift for me?", she asked smiling, not trying to hide her tears this time which started rolling down her cheeks.

"Yes, but you have to wait till Christmas eve", he answered winking and she sat down at the edge of his bed again.

"I can also remember how we stopped our last day in the office before we went to the car", he said, stroking her cheek and his face got closer to hers.

Holding her breath she let it happen and as his lips touched hers, her tears finally streamed down her cheeks.

They had been lost. He was dead.  
Now they're sitting together, holding each other while sharing a kiss. Was this all really happening?  
  
As they seperated again, Mulder had his hand still placed on her cheek, softly stroking the tears on her cheek with his thumb away.

"You're here, you're alive", was all Scully could say without bursting out into tears again.

Mulder didn't say anything but kept looking into her eyes. How did he deserve someone like her? Someone who cares so much about him? He pulled her into a hug and wished they could stay like that forever.  
  
Suddenly Scully's phone rang. She sighed.  
"I'm sorry."

She answered the call, it was Monica.

_"Hey Dana, where are you?"_

"I'm in the hospital to visit Mulder."

_"Oh alright, John and me will be right there, too. The hospital just called us, they've seen a strange man on the camera recordings walking into Mulder's room this night."_

"What? Alright, I'm gonna wait here."  
Scully put the phone away and noticed Mulder's worried looking face.

He was waiting if she'd tell him what's up and worried she told him what Monica just said. "Maybe that's the reason why you suddenly woke up this night..."

"Let's find out first who this man is, okay? We will solve this...", Mulder said and pressed her hand tightly, "...I'm feeling good so don't worry."

He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. Scully sighed again. He was right, he could remember and apparently everything else was okay as well, but the strange feeling didn't want to fade away.

"Maybe I should already go and take a look at the came-"

"No Scully, you're staying here with me. Monica said she's gonna here soon so be patient. Right now I need you more than everything else", Mulder responded and stroked over her hair.  
  
Scully couldn't help it and smiled sadly. "You need me? Mulder, I was ready to do your autopsy. You lay in front of me on this cold table in the morgue...You were dead. The one who needs someone is me...It's me who needs you", she said quietly with breaking voice and without taking her eyes from him. She still couldn't believe to have him back.  
  
Now Mulder's eyes seemed to ask for forgiveness. The pain which Scully carried on her shoulders was too much for him to sustain. He didn't want to see this anymore, he wanted to see her being happy again. All he wanted was to see her smile.

"Scully, I-"

Suddenly the door opened and they saw Monica's head looking through it. She was surprised as she saw Scully and Mulder so close to each other.

"Hi! Uhm....are you feeling better, Mulder?"

"Yes, I feel a lot better, Monica. I can remember again", he said and tried to smile.  
  
Monica was so relieved to hear that, that she went to him to hug him tight. "I'm so glad to hear that, so so glad!"

She also hugged Scully, knowing that her best friend was happy to have Mulder back.

"Now I'm sorry, but we have to take a look at the camera recordings. Scully, do you come with us? John is outside, talking to nurse Kam again."

Scully looked at Mulder who nodded. He pulled her closer again to kiss her forehead before she went out of the room with Monica.


	11. We have to stop this

Down the corridor they saw John talking to nurse Kam, so Monica and Scully walked quickly side by side towards them.  
  
"He can remember!", was the first thing Monica said to John with a relieved smile on her face.  
  
Both, Doggett and the nurse, looked a bit confused at first. "What? You mean...? How?", was all John could ask, before the nurse interrupted him.  
  
"I better call the doctor to look at him!"  
  
Even if Scully insisted that Mulder was doing fine, nurse Kam wanted to inform the doctor and after he finally got the information, they went to the office to take a look at the camera recordings.  
  
On the way to the office, Monica looked at Scully but didn't say anything. Scully noticed that and raised her eyebrow, but Monica still kept quiet.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Monica suppressed a grin. "So, you and Mulder, huh?", she said quietly so that John didn't hear her.  
  
Scully just rolled her eyes and answered why a little smile, it was so clear that Monica would ask about that. Luckily they just arrived at the office, so she didn't have to explain anything more at the moment.  
  
As nurse Kam guided them to the computer on which they already prepared the recordings from this night and pressed the play button, they watched a man walking with careful steps into Mulder's room. A few minutes later he left it, without anyone noticing him.  
  
"And about an hour later I saw that Mr. Mulder woke up", the nurse explained quietly.  
  
Scully didn't pay attention to her, she wanted to watch it again. Her brain was still working with what she just saw and she definelty knew this man.  
  
But who was it?  
  
Monica looked at Scully. "Dana? What do you think?"  
  
"I...I know him, but...", she still tried to figure out who it was, his face wasn't clear to see but somehow she recognized him.  
  
Then she suddenly knew who it was. "Oh my god...it's Krycek!"

"Krycek!? Are you sure?", Monica and Doggett asked, both shocked about the possibility of who this man could be. Scully was completely sure about it. It was Krycek. Without a doubt.  
  
"But what did he do?", Doggett wondered, but nobody could explain this.  
  
Scully's face showed worries about her Mulder and she wanted to talk to the doctor as soon as possible. She explained him that they had to do every possible physical examination for finding out what Krycek did. A few hours later, as all the tests were done, she wanted to see Mulder.  
  
Before she went into his room, she tried to control her shaking hands and her fast breathing. Scully didn't want him to worry, but as she entered the room, Mulder immediately noticed that something was wrong.  
  
"Scully? What happened", he asked, stretching out his hand for hers.  
  
She took it and swallowed, but her worries weren't able to swallow down. "The man who was in your room this night...it was Krycek...", she said quietly.  
  
Mulder looked at her, unbelieving what he just heard. "Are you sure?", he asked even if he already knew the answer.  
  
Scully nodded. "You have to stay here till tomorrow. We want to find out what Krycek might have done as he was here. Till tomorrow two of us will be always outside the door, so you'll be safe...", she explained, still holding his hand, "...We will find out why he was here."  
  
"I'm feeling good, Scully. If he really did something, it can't be anything bad. As you can see, I'm still alive", he tried to joke.  
  
But Scully wasn't in the mood for jokes. "Mulder, the doctors put you into coma as you arrived here and after Krycek left your room you suddenly woke up. And I want to find out what he did to you!"  
  
Her sorrows about Mulder and anger about Krycek overwhelmed her and her voice got louder. Mulder tried to calm her down, which wasn't easy.  
  
"I know and listen to me, you'll find it out. I know you will, but stop worrying. Now everything we can do is waiting for all the results of the tests, alright?"  
  
He looked deep into her eyes, pulling her closer to him. "Come here", he whispered and moved a bit to the side, so she could lay next to him.  
  
Without hesitating she laid down, enjoying the closeness between them.

The next day they got the results of the tests...  
Everything seemed to be alright! They had no clue what Krycek could have done, except for one thing. They had found a substance in Mulder's blood which can't be identified. Whatever it was, Mulder wasn't reacting to it. It didn't harm him.  
  
"But why would Krycek inject Mulder something which doesn't have an effect on him?", Scully wanted to know.  
  
The doctor frowned. "I really don't know, but the fact is that Agent Mulder is completely well. So there's no medical reason anymore for him to stay here."  
  
Glad about that but still concerned about Mulder, Scully made her way to Mulder's room to tell him the news. Monica and Doggett were still sitting in front of the door, both holding a big cup of coffee in their hands which doesn't seem to taste good but at least helped to stay awake. After quickly telling them what she just got to know from the doctor, Scully entered Mulder's room.  
  
He was already sitting on his bed, waiting for Scully and as the door opened he smiled at her. "I just wondered why I had to wake up without you?", he said smirking.  
  
Scully shook her head. "How can you be so relaxed? Mulder, somebody abducted us and injected you something we can't identify. You've had an implant, but we won't be able to figure out what it is because it's broken. The smoking man, this son of a bitch, is somehow involved in all this and also Krycek. And you're sitting here and smile at me!"  
  
With a sigh she let herself fall on the chair next to his bed. She couldn't help it but how should she stay calm, knowing that something happened to them which she couldn't explain?  
  
After a while, she told Mulder about what the doctors have found in his blood and that he was allowed to go home now.  
  
"Alright Scully, listen. We're going back to work and then we will find out what happened. We will find out who this man is who apparently helped us. And we will kick Krycek's and the cancer man's ass", he said while holding her hand and before Scully could answer, somebody knocked at the door.

It was Skinner. "Agent Doggett called me that you can go home. I got some fresh clothes for you, Mulder."  
  
He gave them the bag and said how glad he was that Mulder was feeling better. "Now we can finally start working on what happened", he said and went outside again.  
  
After Mulder had changed his clothes, they could finally leave the hospital. Monica and Doggett were already gone, so that Skinner offered to drive Mulder and Scully to the FBI Building.  
  
On the way to the car, Mulder didn't let go of Scully's hand. The whole time they were walking side by side, hand in hand, acting like that would be the most normal thing on earth.  
  
As they crossed the street, a fast car rushed towards them and suddenly a gun appeared through the half open window.  
  
"Get down!", Mulder shouted and ran with Scully behind the closest standing car and Skinner ducked behind another one, while everything they could hear were the bursting windows and bullets flying against cars and walls. The shots in their direction didn't stop.  
  
People were screaming, running away, laying down on the sidewalk, hiding behind cars. Everything Mulder was paying attention to, was to hide Scully's head under his arms, protecting her from all the shots and sherds.  
  
After a screeching sound of the car wheels, the fire was over and the car disappeared.  
  
"Are you alright?", Mulder asked worried, taking Scully's face between his hands. He could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins.  
  
Scully's breath was very fast but she nodded, checking if he was alright, too. Still sitting on the sidewalk, he pulled her into a hug again.  
  
"Mulder, we have to stop this! We have to solve this all", she mumbled against his shoulder. This just couldn't go on like that, this needed to end as soon as possible.  
  
Mulder nodded, helping her to get up. "We can solve this, and we will! Trust me."  
  
"Hey are you okay!?", a voice shouted behind them. It was Skinner, who leaned breathlessly against the car which wasn't really a car anymore. They nodded and tried to calm down, as they already heard the sirens. After a few minutes Mulder and Scully were allowed to go, Skinner would stay and clarify the stuff with the police.


	12. Help

As they entered the FBI Building, Monica was waiting for them. She seemed impatient. "Mulder! Scully! Come one, there's someone you should talk to...hell what happened?", she asked as she saw their still from panic signed faces.

"Somebody tried to shoot us, but we're okay!", Scully explained but didn't go into detail. She actually wanted to know what Monica meant with 'someone you should talk to'...

Monica wanted to know more about that of course, but she saw in Scully's eyes that for now other things were more important. So they followed her to an office. Doggett was sitting inside, infront of him a man sitting with his back to the door.  
  
"He says he knows you", Doggett said to Scully and the man turned around.  
  
It was the man who helped them!  
  
Scully was surprised. On the one hand she hoped that the man could might help to find out what exactly happened and who is involded in it all, one the other hand she didn't know why he came just now and not earlier.  
  
"I can help you", he said as if he could read her mind.  
  
Mulder was confused and he looked from the man to Scully and back to the man. Who was that?  
  
"I can explain everything, if you let me", the man continued and Scully nodded, taking a seat as well. After Mulder closed the door, he stayed standing behind Scully, still looking at the man as if he would try to decide to trust him or not.  
  
The man cleared his throat and started talking. "My name is Carson Ewans. I'm sure that at least you, Agent Scully, can remember me."  
  
Scully nodded, she remembered his face. He helped her out from wherever they've been.  
  
"Agent Mulder, I'm not sure if you can remember me?", Carson asked Mulder, who slowly shook his head.  
  
The man nodded and took a deep breath. "Alright, I'm gonna start from the beginning. Agent Scully, as you can remember, I helped you outta there. The place where you've been was a lonely station, the old trains have been already used years ago as places to make certain experiments with people. People who thought they've been abducted by aliens..."  
  
Scully gasped. Does that mean she was going trough the same hell as years ago?

Carson saw a lot of questions in Scully's face, but he continued. "Weeks ago, a man contacted Dr. Ewans, my father. My dad agreed on a 'project' he didn't even really understood and I was supposed to join this project and...They threatened me if I'd tell anyone. So a few days later we had to come to this station in the night. A car without light was arriving there, you both were unconcious and they carried you into the railcars."  
  
"But what did you all do to us? And why!?", Mulder wanted to know impatiently.  
  
Scully could understand his feelings, she wanted to know more as well and Carson went on.  
  
"Well, that's the point I had to find out. Nobody really told me what they're doing to you, so I started spying. The experiment they did on you, included a first injection to make you unconciuos, an implant to collect your memories and a second injection to save and hide the memories in the chip", he explained.  
  
Now Scully gasped for air. "That's what Krycek did! The second injection. It just didn't work because Mulder's implant is already removed."  
  
Mulder and the others nodded. That was the only explanation, but Carson said that he never heard of a man named Krycek.  
  
Mulder still had some questions. "But why Scully and me?"  
  
"It was the idea of the man with the cigarette. He wanted you two for this procedure after he had successfully tried it on a homeless person."  
  
Scully and Mulder shared a look. The cancer candidate. It's always him.  
  
Even Monica and Doggett looked concerned and angry. "But why are they doing all this? For what reason?", John asked.  
  
"They wanna create humans who are able to be controlled. If they don't have memories, they don't have a life. The men behind this all can convince them to do whatever they want. That's why they wanted my father, he's now one of the psychologists there who are manipulating the victims. If you don't have memories of your life, you can easily be manipulated to do things you'd never do", Carson said, his eyes showed how much he hated all this.

After Carson had finished, nobody dared to say a word because the plan behind Scully's and Mulder's abduction shocked everyone. Scully couldn't prevent the tears in her eyes and felt Mulder's hand on her shoulder, comforting her.  
  
Why did they always have to suffer like that? Wasn't it enough that they had to fight for their lives so many times, pretending to be strong so many times, but feeling all the pain inside?  
  
Carson didn't know Krycek. He didn't know the names of the men who were part of the 'project' except for his own father and the man with the cigarette, who was obviously the cancer candidate.  
  
"But...", Mulder started,"...could it be, that our cancer candidate still thinks that I'm carrying the implant?"  
  
"That would be logical, because that explains the second injection you got from Krycek. They think their plan worked out", Monica said.  
  
Mulder nodded. "Well, then let me meet our smokey. Let's start the rumour that I lost all my memories and I'm sure he will contact me somehow. Let me meet with him and then he'll get what he deserves."  
  
Hearing these words, Scully jumped up from her chair and turned around to Mulder. "No!"  
  
"But Scully-"  
  
"No, Mulder! I won't let that happen! Only God knows what he would do then, you could be in extreme danger meeting him!" Searching for support, she looked to Monica and Doggett who both looked skeptical. Monica even avoided her eyes.  
  
"Well...I don't like that idea either, but I guess it's the only way to get in touch with this cigarette smoking man", John said slowly. He already expected that look, Scully gave him right now, but he agreed with Mulder.  
  
Even Monica had to admit that this plan could work and Scully's effort in trying to think about another plan didn't work at all. She tried to think about something else, but she had no idea.  
  
Desperately she looked into Mulder's eyes, trying to convince him without words this time.

Mulder didn't want to see her like that, worried and scared about him, but that was the only possibility. He stepped closee to her, stroked over her hair and cheek while she looked up to him.  
  
"Scully, don't worry. He should only _think_ that I can't remember. You know, nothing can happen to me, I haven't lost my memories or my mind. I'm completely fine."

Scully was aware of that, but it didn't help to get rid of her concernity and Mulder knew that. But that was the only way to go.  
  
While holding Scully in his arms, Mulder talked to Carson: "Do you know where this station is?"  
  
"No, we've been picked up by a transporter and they tied our eyes. So I didn't have any clue where exactly it is and they also injected us something which is causing disorientation. As I got outta there today night, I started running as fast as I could till I found a taxi to drive me here. But I can't remember the way...I just can't remember it", Carson answered helplessly, resting his head in his hands.  
  
Now Scully broke away from the hug, driving her hand through her hair, unbelieving that all this was happening. She wished their would be another possibility.

Mulder continued explaining the plan: "Alright, as soon as Smokey got the information that his plan worked out and I don't have any memories, he'll get in touch with me and he'll get what he deserves, we can stop it and help possible other victims."  
  
He sounded determinate and reliant. Hopefully it would really work out that way, thought Scully.


	13. Take care of you

A few days later the rumour of Mulder who lost his memories had spread around. It was evening now and he was sitting home on his chair, while Scully was laying asleep on his sofa. In the uninhabited apartment next door sat the lone gunmen, who were waiting with their technical equipment for an approach of the cancer candidate.

The only people who knew about the plan were them, Scully, Monica, John, Skinner and Carson. Everyone else believed that Mulder lost all his memories and hopefully the cigarette smoking man would get this information, too...

While sitting there and watching Scully sleeping, Mulder's phone suddenly rang and he answered it. "Hello?"

_"Downstairs at the parking lot in front of your house in 10 minutes. I can help you."_

That was all. The male voice at the other end of the line didn't say anything else. Awake by the sound of the ringing phone, Scully sat up and looked questioning to Mulder and he told her from the call. Scully frowned and shook her head, so Mulder got up to sit next to her.

"Mulder, I still don't think that this is a good idea. I don't want you to go alone. What if something - ?"

She was stopped by Mulder's finger placed at her lips. "Nothing will happen, Scully. At least not to me, but to Old Smokey. I'm just trying to find out more about what happened and in case that he will go with me to this old station, we can locate it with the little GPS in my jacket. So don't worry", he said but Scully looked even more concerned and put his arms around him, holding him tight.  
  
He also put his arms around her, closing his eyes and inhaling her sweet scent. He knew her too well. Her worries are still there. She was always worried about him, and this would apparently never change. But he was sure about this plan, it would work. It just had to work.

"Scully, I have to go", he said quietly and it was clear to see that he didn't want to leave her now. He looked into her eyes, smiled at her as if to say nothing bad will happen and kissed her forehead.

"Take care of you", whispered Scully, letting go of his hand as he got up.  
  
He turned around and smiled again "Scully, when I'm coming back I'm gonna invite you for dinner", he said, winked and left the apartment.

Now Scully was sitting there on his sofa, alone, and buried her face in her hands. If this cancer candidate would harm him in any way again, she would definitely leave all laws behind her and kill this bastard.

Trying to control herself now, she went to the apartment next door, were the gunmen had established all their technical stuff to get to know where Mulder is and what they're saying.

* * *

It was cold outside as Mulder walked to the parking lot. He stayed in the shadow of an old tree, looking down the street but he didn't see someone. After a few seconds, a black transporter stopped in front of him and the door opened.

"I'm here to help you", said a deep male voice and Mulder had to control himself not to get aggressive.

He went to the car and sat next to the man. Old Smokey. After he closed the door behind him it was dark but Mulder felt how the car started moving. All he could see was the glowing cigarette in front of him, the rancid scent of tabac unfurled and Mulder started breathing slowlier.

"Mr. Mulder, I'm sure you're very confused about your current situation", he said, still smoking.

"Well, I don't really know who I am or what happened to me", Mulder replied.

Let the game begin.  
  
The smoker nodded. "I'm sure your colleagues told you about an abduction and maybe also about some tests but listen to me: They're all lying to you. You can't trust them, I am the one who knows what truly happened to you and I can help you", he explained, looking into Mulder's eyes, trying to win his trust.  
  
Mulder pretended to be confused and scared about all this. "I don't know who to trust, I don't even know if I can trust you and...where are we going?"

The smoker finished his cigarette and gave Mulder an almost warm and friendly smile. "Like I said, I want to help you", he said and remained quiet for the rest of the ride.

* * *

In the same time, Scully was sitting together with Langley, Byers and Frohike. She didn't even dare to breathe while listening to the conversation between Mulder and the cancer candidate. As they stopped talking, she couldn't sit still anymore. Worried she walked up and down the room, waiting for something to happen.

"Does the GPS work??", she wanted to know.

"Yes, we can see where they're driving, but we can't identify a clear aim yet", answered Langley. They were just as worried about Mulder as Scully was.  
  
Monica, John and Skinner were together with a team at the FBI, waiting for a call from the long gunmen to tell them were they have to go. Now all they could do was waiting till Mulder would arrive at this ominous station.

After half an hour they still didn't know where they were driving to. Scully got more and more impatient and wished she wouldn't have let Mulder go alone with the cigarette smoking man. He and the smoker didn't even talked again, so the lone gunmen were waiting infront of their laptop but they couldn't hear anything.  
  
Scully looked at her phone and saw a text message from Monica.

_-Are u alright?_

-No, of course not. I want to have him back here asap.

_-I understand u. Any hints yet?_

-Not at all, they're still driving. We gonna call when we know more.  
  
Frustrated she put the phone away, sat down at the other end of the room and rested her head on her hands. This waiting time was killing her and just as she was sure to go crazy, something happened.

"Oh fuck!", shouted Frohike.

"What? What's happening!?" Scully jumped up and hurried to them.

"Something is interrupting our GPS signal and also the microphone isn't working, but hold on a second..."

Langley started working on the technics and Scully could barely understand what exactly he was doing but after a short while he sighed and leaned back. "We have them back."

Scully closed her eyes and breathed out.  
  
Couldn't she just wake up, finding this all as a bad dream? No, unfortunately it was really happening.

"Scully! Call the others! Now we know where they are!", Byers said excited.  
  
Scully phoned Monica to tell them where they have to go. A while later, they also heard again what Mulder and the cancer man were talking about. It seems like they missed a part of their conversation as the micro was off, because they were already arguing.

 _"I know what you've done to us, you bastard! I know everything and this time you have to face the consequences!"_ , they heard Mulder shouting.

 _"You can remember...?"_ , the smoker said unbelieving.

 _"Yes, I can! You failed and you have to pay for that!",_ they heard Mulder's angry voice.  
  
Suddenly they heard another man talking: _"I'm quitting! I'm not gonna continue with this work for you and I want to know what you did with my son Carson!"_

 _"I did nothing to him"_ , said the smoker.

And then they suddenly heard a shot.

"Mulder!!", Scully screamed even if she knew that he couldn't hear her.

They heard a second shot and Scully started shaking.

_Who was the person who shot?_

_Did something happen to Mulder?_

_Why was nobody speaking anymore?_  
  
Scully couldn't think clearly, tears blurred her eyes and she almost didn't hear that somebody was talking again. The connection with the microphone was very bad so it wasn't clear to figure out who was talking right now.

 _"Dr. Ewans, give me the gun..."_ , someone whispered.

 _"I..I...is he...are they...?"_ , they heard Carson's father Dr. Ewans stuttering.

_"I'll check this right now, but first give me the gun please."_

Then they heard nothing but steps on the ground.  
  
They heard someone breathing, then the voice talked again.  _"Scully? Can you hear me? Or Frohike or someone else? If you can hear me, Krycek is dead. And our Old Smokey, too..."_

Scully started breathing again, she was relieved that Mulder was alive but she couldn't believe what she just heard.

They are dead? The cigarette smoking man is dead? Suddenly they heard some more noises, the FBI team was arriving and they heard them entering and shouting.

They heard Mulder explaining what happened: _"Dr. Ewans shot Krycek, who stood behind me with a knife and then he shot him, directly in the forehead."_

It was clear to hear how shocked Mulder was about what happened. He couldn't believe it as well.

 _"Monica could you give me your phone?"_ , he asked then.  
  
Suddenly Scully's phone rang.

"Mulder!"

 _"Hey Scully, breathe. I'm okay",_ he said, removing the hidden microphone from his jacket.

"Mulder, I'll never let you go alone again to something like that. The next time I won't stay here, listening to the dangerous situations you're in!", her voice broke and she took the phone in her other hand, even if this one was shaking equally.

"Mulder, come back please", she just said, longing for his strong arms to hold her.

  _"I'll be right there as soon as possible. Don't forget that we're having a date."_


	14. The answer is yes

A few days later, it was December 24th, Scully was standing in front of her mirror. Since a few minutes she was looking at her reflection, trying to decide which dress she should wear and finally she decided for the black one and made herself ready.

Scully asked herself why she was so nervous, but she couldn't find an answer. It was just a date. With Mulder. It was just a date with Mulder at the restaurant.  
  
As the doorbell rang, Scully's heart skipped a beat and she couldn't suppress a big smile on her face while walking to the door. She opened it and looked into Mulder's smiling face.

"Wow Scully, you...you look breathtaking!" He leaned down to kiss her and she blushed before she let him in.

"Thank you, Mulder. You're looking good, too. At least you changed your alien tie for a plain one", she answered grinning and Mulder looked shocked.

"What is wrong with my stylish ties!?", he asked and made Scully giggle.

"I didn't say anything. Let me take on my coat and then we can go out", she said and Mulder helped her getting dressed. He also opened the door like a real gentlemen, which he definitely was and offered her his arm with such an exaggerated gesture that both had to laugh.  
  
They decided to walk to the restaurant which was only 15 minutes away. Hand in hand they walked down the snowy streets, looking at all the beautiful christmas decorations everywhere.

"Thank you, Mulder."

"Thank you for what?"

"I don't know...for everything. For being right here, right now."

He stopped and put his arms around her. "Scully, I'm gonna be with you forever...well, if you can sustain me for such a long time", Mulder said laughing a bit.

"So we're something like a couple?", Scully asked grinning.

Mulder placed his forehead against hers as he answered: "Yes, if you want to call it like that we're something like a couple."

"Can we also say just couple?"

"Alright Scully, we are a couple. You and me against the rest of the world", he answered laughing.

She smiled and nodded in agreement, then she stood on tiptoes to kiss him before they went on to the restaurant.

After the waiter brought Scully and Mulder to their table, they enjoyed their dinner. As they finished, they still stayed for a while, drinking wine and talking a lot. It was a cheerful evening, probably also caused through the wine. Scully enjoyed Mulder's company and wished that this evening could go on for ages. They talked about so many things, he told her from his life and she from hers and it feels like they were a normal couple going out in a normal restaurant on a normal evening.  
  
But it wasn't so normal, at least not everything. "Mulder...the last days I thought a lot about all this what happened. Our abduction and what could have happened. I-I just can't believe that this is over now, I mean really over. The people who were always harming us are dead and...I just can't believe that we can have something like a normal life now...", she stopped searching for words.  
  
Mulder placed his hand on hers on the table. He looked into her eyes, into her beautiful blue eyes.

"Listen Scully, after all what happened to us in the last years, we deserve it to have a normal life. We've been through so many bad things and it's about the time to start a happier chapter. A chapter with less pain as possible, alright? And we'll start it together."

He smiled at her in a honest and loving way. He didn't want her to worry anymore, everything he wanted was to see her being happy.  
  
They payed and left the restaurant hand in hand. While they've enjoyed their dinner, it had started to snow outside. Mulder couldn't stop looking at Scully, seing all the snowflakes remaining on her hair and she regocnized that he was gazing at her.

"Something wrong?"

"No, you're just looking cute with all the snow in your hair."

"I'm looking cute?"

He nodded and all of a sudden he throw a handful snow after her. Surprised by this she started laughing and took revenge with putting snow in the collar of his coat. She laughed tears as she saw his shocked face because of the wet cold on his neck, and he took her by surprise and lifted her on his arms to carry her.

"Hey Mulder, that's not fair!", she giggled but wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him carry her home.

"Come on Mulder, you can let me down now!" They just entered the staircase of Scully's house and he still carried her on his arms. She couldn't stop giggling until they arrived at the door to her apartment where he finally let her down.

At first, Scully changed her clothes to something more comfortable than the dress. Then they cuddled together on the sofa.  
  
She rested her head on his shoulder while he put an arm around her, so she could cling on him. Together they just gazed at the sparkling lights of the Christmas tree, as Scully pulled a little package from behind one of the pillows.

"Merry Christmas, Mulder."

"Uuuh, Santa brought Christmas presents!", he said childish and opened it. It was a beautiful silver wristwatch.

"Take a look at the backside!", Scully whispered and he turned the watch around. There was something engraved in it: "There won't be any missing time as long as we are together. No UFO can ever change that. In love, Dana"

Mulder suppressed a laugh because of the reference to the phenomenon of missing time. "Thank you, Scully", he said honestly, leaning forward to kiss her.  
  
She was glad that he liked the present and was excited for hers now, because she remembered that he was carrying it with him since a few months.

"And this is for you. Merry Christmas", Mulder said, handing her a small box and watching her attentively as she slowly opened it.  
It was a ring, a silver ring with a little diamond, sparkling in the light of the Christmas tree. Scully was speechless.

"Omg Mulder...it's...it's beautiful, thank you!"

"Well, there's something else...there's a question belonging to that ring", he stopped, waiting for her reaction.  
  
Scully looked up into his eyes now, her heart was beating faster and she was waiting if he would really ask what she thought he might ask.

"Dana Scully, I love you. We've known each other for ao long now, went through so many good and bad times, learned to help and trust each other. I love you more than anyone else on this whole damn planet and that's why I'm asking you...Do you want to mer-"

"Yes!"

"Hey that's not fair, I didn't even finish my sentence", he laughed but she already wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him.

"Mulder, the answer is yes!", she said with tears of joy in her eyes.

* * *

Finally, on New Year's Eve, Scully and Mulder were celebrating the end of the yeat together with John and Monica in their apartment.  
  
The girls were in the kitchen to get some new drinks, while the boys were sitting in the living room, watching an old movie or something while talking.  
  
"Can I take a look again?", Monica asked Scully, the excitement in her voice was clear to hear.  
  
Scully raised her hand and showed Monica the silver ring she got from Mulder a week ago. "I still can't believe it, it's like a dream..."  
  
"It's sooo romantic, I'm so happy for you two! You're perfect together!"  
  
"I know, you said that four times already", Scully answered laughing and got suddenly hugged by Monica.  
  
"And I'm gonna scream it out loud at your wedding day!", Monica giggled.  
  
With new drinks they made their way back to Mulder and John, who were apparently already waiting for them. Scully put her bottle at the table and let herself fall onto Mulder's lap. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him passionately.  
  
"Honey, how many drinks have you already had?", Mulder asked laughing, holding her tight.  
  
"Who cares?" She kissed him again.  
  
It was almost midnight so they decided to get dressed to go outside to watch the fireworks. Mulder helped Scully in her jacket and John did the same to Monica, then they closed the door behind them.  
  
It was cold outside, so Mulder stood behind Scully, wrapping her arms around her and resting his head on hers.  
  
"That's gonna be our year, isn't it?", she asked him.  
  
"Yeah, we against the world. Forever and ever and it's starting this year." He kissed his head and she turned around, wrapping his arms around his waist and looking up to him.  
  
"I love you", she said as the people around them suddenly started to count down.  
  
...5...4...3...2...1 - HAPPY NEW YEAR!  
  
Mulder looked down to Scully and she stood up on tiptoes once again to reach his lips. They shared a kiss which seemed to symbolized a promise.  
  
"Happy new year, Mulder."  
  
"Happy new year, Scully."  
  
She rested her head on his chest, feeling his arms around her and watching the colorful fireworks over their heads. Then she suddenly remembered about John and Monica and wondered where they were. She looked around and saw them a bit aside, lost in a deep kiss.  
  
Scully couldn't suppress a smile. Yes, this year was going to be great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End. I hope you liked it ♡


End file.
